Rebecca Carpenter
Contributing Writer
If you’ve been on OBU campus for more than two minutes then I’m sure you’ve heard the term “ring by spring.” There is nothing more annoying to students than seeing other students get engaged after dating for three months. The never-ending cycle of young Christians meeting at the beginning of the fall semester, falling in love, being way too touchy in the GC and then getting engaged by the following spring at the ripe age of 19–is wonderful cycle that never fails to breed rage and annoyance among the other students.
There is no denying that there is a stigma around young Christian marriages, and OBU is no exception to that. In fact, some people go to Bible colleges specifically to find a future spouse, or so I’m told. To be frank, many people believe young Christian couples get married quickly because they want to have sex, which would quickly leave them in an unhappy marriage all because they didn’t take the time to get to know each other first. This assumption may be true for some, but it is certainly not true for all. Allow me to push back on this negative view of young marriage for a moment.
I am one of those young married Christians attending OBU. Because of the stigma around this, I have seen my fair share of judgment when it comes to getting married young. When people find out that I am married there usually follows a slew of sideways glances and questions. My personal favorite (which means least favorite) comment is that the brain doesn’t fully develop until 25, so people shouldn’t get married until then at least. How do I know that I won’t change my mind or uncover some deep, dark truth after it’s too late? What about all the other people and experiences I will be missing?
Now of course, I have no anger or resentment toward people who say things like this to me. I understand the apprehension and concerns. I just fully disagree. Even if my brain isn’t fully developed or I am not fully matured, I still know this was the right choice for me and my husband. I don’t want to meet other people and I don’t want to have other experiences. It may sound cliché, but in the words of the icon Taylor Swift herself, “Sometimes there’s no proof, you just know.”
There is not always some sinister or immature reason that young people want to get married, sometimes they just know that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. Why waste time?
Even more than that, when God calls Christians to something, do we not have an obligation to follow? Getting married at 20 was not in my plans when I was 16 years old. In fact, I was convinced I would die alone. Sometimes things happen, wonderful and beautiful things, and your life is changed forever. This was one of those things for me. This was my first relationship and three years later I am married. It may seem irrational and unwise to some who would question the purity of my motives or the maturation of my brain, but getting married at 20 was the first thing I truly felt called to. It has strengthened my love for both my husband and my relationship with Christ. I have no regrets.
Don’t get me wrong, I get just as much enjoyment out of poking fun at the GC couple and the idea of ring by spring as you. Sometimes those who are young and in love make irresponsible decisions and are easy to mock but sometimes they are just in love and happen to be young.
So the next time you hear about a young couple at OBU getting engaged or married, I hope that you can see past the stigma and instead see their love. This may be a very optimistic view, but being optimistic is better than being harsh and being wrong. Marriage is a beautiful creation made for us by God, and it should be celebrated.
Who knows, maybe your life will be turned upside down by one wonderful person, just like mine was.
