By Jaden Jennings, Contributing Writer
Sometimes when I am doing all of the right things, I still feel separated from God. Do you?
What I mean to say is that even when I am reading my Bible, having a regular quiet time, or even praying like I should, periodically I get this awful, wretched feeling that I am still not doing enough. Or even worse, I don’t look good enough.
Let me explain. Lately, the devil has been attacking me. I don’t mean to say that for you to pity me, but I am telling you in this article for transparency purposes. I want to be honest and upfront with all of you readers.
I know the old song and dance that I am made in the image of God, blah blah blah, but it seems as if every time I look in the mirror as of late, those scriptural truths are pushed to the side. I am just left standing there, my reflection and I competing in a silent battle.
Who will win? What I know to be true from Christ, or the distorted image I see in the mirror?
This has been a haunting nightmare of mine for quite some time. Attending a Christian University, you would think the opposite to be true, but unfortunately, that is not my story.
I know being involved with a dance team in college adds certain pressures to maintaining a specific build, but I have realized that this insecurity is much deeper than that. This issue I have has been buried deep inside for so long, that the more I have tried to contain it throughout my life, it has boiled over into self-doubt, perfectionism, and distorted body image.
I feel crazy while I am typing this, but here is my concern: I am not the only one. Millions of women (even men) Christian or not, absolutely hate the way they look, or what they do.
Without pointing fingers at a certain reason behind this statistic, we know as a generation there must be something wrong. As a God-following gal, I thought my prayers would cover this issue, but still to this day, they have not.
You would think that following God would contain the thoughts of self-loathing and inadequacy, but truth be told, this is a natural human problem. Christians are not immune.
The media today has whispered temporary satisfactions into our minds about body, weight, and image. These messages are delivered to us every day whether we know it or not. They actually are so close to us that it will fit right in our back pocket.
Now, I don’t believe that cellphones are inherently bad. I use it to keep in contact with family and friends back home. My phone is my flashlight, my calculator, and even my personal calendar. I couldn’t live without mine, but currently, I am conducting a social media detox with myself until I can be truly content with my own life.
I sound like a bit of a drama queen because I know many people around the world have it worse than I do. I realize that and I know it. However, our world has become so submerged in being perfect on our accounts that I catch myself wanting to be perfect as well.
This is a problem.
I want to serve those in need and help others, but when I see someone else that looks super cute in their missionary outfit in Uganda, I feel a surge of jealous rush through me.
This isn’t even just about the way you look. It is about the way you dress, what you post, and so much more. Yesterday a woman posted the cutest picture of her starting her ministry, and guess what? I was jealous!
Something I should never be jealous about was twisted into something I couldn’t control. I wanted to be happy for her, but this is the truth of reality.
However, my life doesn’t have to be this way, and neither does yours. I have realized something the older I get, when I know where my identity is, that is when I am the happiest.
No comparison, no remorse, just God and I living life to our fullest potential.
In the famous words of Teddy Roosevelt, “Comparison is the Thief of Joy,” and I would have to agree completely.
I want to talk to my Christian ladies out there, is the self-doubt bug eating you up? Do you feel a presence gnawing at you telling you aren’t good enough or you won’t ever amount to a single thing? If that is you, let’s fight this together.
No more pretending we have it all together just because we go to a Christian University. (And news flash, Jesus won’t look at our social media accounts for us to enter into the gates of heaven).
Let’s be raw and open with one another. Women supporting women and men supporting men. We are brother and sisters, and most importantly, we are allies.
Instead of fighting for perfectionism on our Instagram posts, let’s start fighting for one another before Jesus takes us home. Hand in hand, we can do this. Together,